In the heartlands of the northern plain,
Among the frozen spires of rock and stone,
Lies the tower.
A window or door it does not suffer,
For such folly of man is
Unaccepted.
Denied by all of the mother's keeps.
For eternity,
It holds.
Besting the worse of strains,
A silent sentinel,
Through day,
Through night.
Sheets of purity
Clad its walls,
A gift to its glory,
Forged by the prodigious skies.
Thunderous,
Mighty above all else,
But not a volley it hails,
Not a fire it spews,
Thus,
Forever graced,
With ravishing serenity.
And at its peak,
No flag rests,
No banner,
Claiming dominance.
Only the stone.
Of a frozen citadel,
Cascading into heaven.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Thanks for all the stars and compliments. Means a lot.
I liked it. ;P I can't give a very good critique, as I don't do poetry, but Vernon's been making everyone in the chat read this.
One comment: I don't like that 'thus' had it's own line.
*Gold star*
If you want a real critique on fiction from me, PM me! (Really; I MUST get more stars. ;P)
~JFW1415
You're really thirteen? O_O. That's my first reaction, this is... this is beautiful. My one complaint is I don't like or understand 'sheets of purity' Maybe just try and make that clearer. Overall: I love this poem and I'm gonna star it. You've got a knack for poetry. Kudos.
Good luck
VSN
Wow, I love this, everything about it just makes my jaw drop open in admiration.